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Original Passage:
Surely, the development of technology has improved our life in many ways. The advancements in technology have made it easier to communicate with each other and make things avlable instantly. Furthermore, technology has enabled us to work from home which saves time and energy that could otherwise be spent on traveling.
However, there are concerns about privacy when it comes to the use of technology, as our personal data is often stored electronically. This makes it vulnerable to breaches by hackers or cybercriminals who can steal sensitive information like credit card detls or medical records.
Moreover, technological progress has also affected employment. With automation and s replacing workers in many industries, this has led to job losses for many people which might cause financial instability.
In addition, technology has been linked with several health issues such as eye strn, headaches from screen overexposure, sleep deprivation due to blue light emission from electronic devices at night.
Lastly, the rapid development of tech gadgets and software has created a culture of disposability where products are often thrown away after only a short period of use, causing significant environmental damage through waste generation and energy consumption during manufacturing processes.
Revised Passage:
Undeniably, technological advancements have revolutionized our lives in numerous beneficial ways. The progress in technology facilitates immediate communication, streamlining dly tasks with instant access to necessities. Moreover, the advent of remote work has significantly reduced commuting time and energy costs previously spent on transportation.
However, concerns over privacy loom large due to the electronic storage of personal data. Vulnerabilities exist as sensitive information like credit card detls and medical records become targets for cybercriminals exploiting these networks, threatening individual security.
Furthermore, technological progress has reshaped employment dynamics with automation and replacing labor in various sectors. The displacement of workers can lead to economic instability, affecting both individuals' livelihoods and society's overall welfare.
Additionally, technology’s influence on health is evident in issues like eye strn, headaches from prolonged screen exposure, sleep disruption due to blue light emission from electronic devices at night.
Lastly, the rapid pace of technological innovation has given rise to a culture of disposability. After short use, tech gadgets are discarded, causing environmental degradation through waste accumulation and energy-intensive manufacturing processes that contribute to climate change.
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Improved Life Through Technology Advancements Privacy Concerns with Electronic Data Storage Technological Impact on Employment Security Health Issues Linked to Screen Overexposure Environmental Damage from Tech Disposability Rapid Technological Progress and Its Costs